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Riding the relationship escalator (or not): Default societal expectations for intimate relationships — what they are, why they don’t work for everyone, and why they warrant questioning. Nov. 29, 2012

Non-primary partners tell: how to treat us well: Crowdsourced do’s & don’ts for healthy nurturing of a significant non-primary relationship. (Nov. 27, 2012)

What is solo polyamory? My take: My personal description of what solo polyamory means to me, and what I understand about what it can mean to others. (Dec. 5, 2014)

Relationship skills: a checklist: Mutually satisfying and healthy relationships (and relationship networks) don’t pop out of thin air. Here are the skills you need to make that happen. (Oct. 4, 2014)

Why fluid-bonded sex is, um, “sticky”: What can go wrong when safer sex agreements/rules aren’t really about sexual health, and how safer sex makes my own relationships more harmonious.

Values and ethics in polyamory: the XYZ approach to making tough relationship choices: Notes for a workshop I presented at Loving More 2015.

Polyamory does not equal hierarchy (and why it’s a problem to talk as if it does). People often habitually use hierarchical terms such as “primary/secondary” when discussing polyamory — as if hierarchy is a default setting for polyamory. Fortunately, that’s not the case. (Oct. 31, 2014)

How to (not) trip/blow up poly relationships: On fuzzy landmines, invisible fences and other common pitfalls of polyamory that amount to outsourcing responsibility for managing your emotions. July 12, 2014

My bottom line: What I require and expect in my solo poly relationships. It’s helpful for anyone to know, and be able to articulate, their own needs and expectations for any kind of relationship. Here are mine. (Nov. 21, 2014)

Couple privilege: Having it doesn’t necessarily make you an asshole (but it might). Examination of how society at large and many people within the poly/open relationship community tend to reflexively overvalue couplehood, especially primary-style relationships — and the many problems this causes. (Feb. 5, 2013)


Defining some terms used in this blog:

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