November 6, 2012 by aggiesez
I’m putting together a post that would be list of tips intended for people in poly/open primary couples, with guidance on specific things they can do or avoid in order to treat their non-primary partners well.
…UPDATE: The result of this crowdsourcing project is now live! See: Non-primary partners tell how to treat us well. This is a work in progress, more input welcome!
I realize this advice would vary greatly according to the relationships and individuals involved — but I figure I’ll just gather as much input as possible and look for common themes.
I want to keep this simple, so it’s easy for folks to read and remember. I would like it to be do/don’t bullet points, not essays. Just the basics, a jumping off point for discussion. Think of it as a brief, action-oriented corollary to Franklin Veaux’s popular and controversial Secondary’s bill of rights.
Got input? Please comment below or e-mail me. Please clarify in your contribution whether you are currently have a primary partner.
Important: While people who are part of a primary couple may have good insight to offer on this topic, my goal here is to present tips that come from the perspective of solo poly/open people — since the vast majority of what’s been written about poly/open relationships is not from our point of view.
If I use your input in my post I’m happy to attribute to you if you like, but will keep it strictly anonymous unless you give clear permission to attribute to you.
UPDATE NOV. 23: I’ve received input from many readers and others in the poly community, and am compiling that into a post this weekend. In the meantime, here’s a guest post from reader SHG with tips based on her experience.